This album was recorded in an extremely hectic time in my life. I ended a tour in Fresno, drove down to Huntington Beach the next day and completed recording 3 days before flying out for a full US tour. This is my heart on my sleeve. This is the accumulation of a year of love, stress, depression, doubt, fear and social instability.
A southern drawl in a western state, A kink in your bloodline that you've grown to hate. But I'm looking for something that I can't find in the god you claim to love, beyond just blind faith in the skies up above.
A narrow path, life threatening choice
Jump out of step or fall in line with the golden boys
I'm an underdog by design but I'm not falling victim to your doubt tonight
I'll make due with my damaged plans. Bur the foundation and tear up the map.
If you want disaster I could show ya, Tearing up the pavement in my beat to shit Corolla. I'm up for something beyond cheap sex and designer drugs; burning day light in a trap house with suburban punks.
Track Name: F@#k Up
I could wake you up again to tell you that I'm sorry for the way that things have been. God, I bet you're worried. I can't seem to shake this sinking feeling. the world outside my door seems to keep moving, am I the only one who seems to keep losing? I can't seem to shake this sinking feeling.
I'm just a stoner in a shitty band. Never had a backup plan.
I'm a fuck up, is that what you wanted? do you want it?
With that said, this could be my last breath. If you want it. Do you want it?
So what do I do on these days that I'm depressed? Cut out this heart in my chest. Incinerate and start over again. If this is how its gonna end. Always at my expense.
Wasting my time, wasting your time, wasting away.
Track Name: Deal
I couldn't save you even if I tried. I'm dealing with my own shit, dealing with my own life.
An absent father, deadbeat mother. An only sister to her dope fiend brother. Middle class decline paired with fleeting time and a lie nobody can save her from.
Years of detachment, years of discouragement and fear
If I'm the headlights, you're the deer.
I couldn't save you even if I tried. I'm dealing with my own shit, dealing with my own life. I couldn't save you but I thought I'd write it anyway, just to say. I'm dealing with my own shit, I'll deal with it my own way.
We're all bastards, we're all burdens. Smoke signals to an absent father. Listen to her words, beyond just nouns and verbs. they paint a picture outside the numbers.
If i'm wrong then so long, better luck with someone who cares.
They've got places filled with fake faces where people are paid to care